Comfort and Closure
by Transformer-Slash
Summary: So much has happened to the Decepticons in such a short amount of time that St3v3 can hardly keep up, but it turns out he's not the only 'con having trouble coping. -Spoilers for current episodes of Transformers: Prime. Mentions Knock Out/Breakdown and St3v3's love of Starscream.


-Spoilers for the latest episode of Trasnformers: Prime. You've been warned.-

This idea came to me in the bathroom. It just was like "You know what you should write? A fanfiction to make you feel better about those bastards killing Breakdown." I thought about St3v3, who I'm hoping you all know and love. He's the plucky Eradicon with a secret crush on Starscream that this fandom decided existed. No, he's not a "real" character, but I think enough people know his that he's not really an OC either.

This fic has no smut, so sorry about that. It's just a heartwarming(?) tale of love, loss, and finding comfort with others like you.

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St3v3 was walking down the halls of the Nemesis on his usual rounds. He felt lost these days. So much had changed in just a few months. Breakdown was dead, for one thing. Breakdown had been one of the most amicable Decepticon officers St3v3 had ever worked under. Despite his intimidating appearance, he was the first to approach even the lowliest Eradicon with a joke and an easy conversation. Airachnid was gone, and good riddance to that pretentious traitor, but she'd found the Insecticons while she was out causing trouble. They were now living on the ship. They weren't friendly, and they weren't easy to look at, but they got the job done. The biggest change by far, and the worst in St3v3's opinion, was that Commander Starscream had defected.

Most of the other Eradicons – probably all of the other Eradicons – had been ecstatic when the order went out that Starscream was to be considered a traitor and brought to Megatron for execution. St3v3 had silently gone along with the crowd, but deep in his spark, he knew it was wrong. Starscream was the right leader for the Decepticons. Could no one else see it? He was fierce and cunning. Starscream could end the war, and he _wanted _to end the war. St3v3 believed that, after a certain point, the end was no longer Megatron's goal. He just wanted more and more power and would string the Autobots along as he kept acquiring it. Starscream would have led them to victory, but the chances of that now were slim to none.

"No, you dolt, I said it's not working. Get out!" St3v3 raised an optic ridge as he heard commotion around the corner. He crept forward quietly and peered around it. He knew that voice. It belonged to Knock Out, the Medical Officer who had, for a brief time, been Starscream's second in command. St3v3 had always been intimidated by Knock Out. Though he seemed friendly enough, there was also something a little unsettling in his wolfish grin that St3v3 had shied away from.

"But-" Another voice chimed in. St3v3 looked around the corner and confirmed that it belonged to a Vehicon whose name escaped him.

"Look, R0y, there are no 'buts' here. You're nice, and I wanted this to work, but you've got about as much charge as a human car-battery and less personality," Knock Out replied dryly. St3v3 was shocked by Knock Out's frank dismissal, and R0y obviously was too.

"I thought you said I-"

"A lot of things were said." Knock Out raised his hand to stop the Vehicon from continuing. "What matters is what I'm saying right now, and that is, I won't be seeing you in a non-professional capacity anymore. Now, unless you want me to ensure you're sent on the next suicide mission, I suggest you get out of my sight." R0y's shoulders slumped and he slunk off down the hallway. Knock Out turned and went back into the medical bay. St3v3 decided now was a good time to turn and pretend he hadn't heard anything, but then a strange sound med his audio sensors. It was a mix between a sigh and a whimper. The sound bore such complete misery that it froze St3v3 in his tracks.

He knew it was a bad idea. Every bit of logic in his processor told him so, but he couldn't stop his feet from dragging him into the medical bay.

"I thought I told you to go away," Knock Out's voice sounded much less strong now. The pompous tone had been replaced by exhaustion.

"No, sir, I just got here." St3v3 realized that, if one wasn't looking hard enough, all the Vehicons and Eradicons looked more or less alike.

"What do you want?" Knock Out's optics flashed angrily as they fixed themselves on St3v3. The Eradicon faltered visibly, the urge to bolt out of the room before Knock Out disassembled something important flashed through his processor.

"I know that it's none of my business, sir…" He swallowed a lump in his throat. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm really sorry about what happened. Breakdown was a good soldier, and I know he-"

"You don't know anything about Breakdown," Knock Out hissed with indignation. Then he dropped his head to his hands and moaned pitifully. "Breakdown, you giant, bumbling idiot!" St3v3 bid a fond farewell to his arm before placing it sympathetically on Knock Out's shoulder. Knock Out didn't move. "You're the first one," he said after a few tense moments.

"The first what?' St3v3 asked, confused.

"The first person on this ship to consider the fact that I might be upset about losing him. No one else even checked." Knock Out looked up into St3v3's visor. The idea that no one else had thought Knock Out would be upset at the loss of Breakdown seemed ludicrous. Knock Out wasn't on the bridge for what seemed like days after. It was true that grieving wasn't common practice for Decepticons, but no one had even thought to check that Knock Out was alright. Then it occurred to St3v3 that no one checked because no one cared. None of the other Decepticons would have been able to offer a shred of comfort, so none of them tried.

"I'm sorry for your loss, and I'm here if you need to talk." St3v3 had never said that sentence in his entire life, and he doubted he would ever say it again, but there it was.

"You know what, this is crazy, but I think I do want to talk to you." Knock Out patted the place next to him, and St3v3 sat down. Knock Out had never talked to anyone about his feelings for Breakdown, not even the mech himself, but he had to tell someone. He had to get it off his chest somehow. "Can you keep a secret, St3v3?"

"Of course," St3v3 assured. His spark was pulsing in his chest. He'd never been asked to keep a secret before, but he knew he wouldn't have anyone to tell anyway.

"I loved that idiot." The statement was soft, almost conspiratorial. "He was funny, strong handsome, and Primus, he was good in the berth." Knock Out's optics misted a little, but he wiped away the moisture before it could threaten to spill over. "Mechs like that don't just fall out of the sky, you know? He understood me like no one else ever has. I feel like a simpering femme for saying all this, but he could always say how he felt without guilt. He told me he loved me. He asked me to be his bond-mate more times than I care to mention. He put up with my tantrums and my pontifications. He never worried when I went with other mechs. Breakdown knew I'd come back… and I always did." Knock Out made the same whimpering sound that had drawn St3v3 in in the first place. "Why didn't I say yes just once? Then I'd still have something of him… a little piece. Instead I've got nothing."

There was a long and bitter silence before St3v3 spoke.

"You will always have his memory, sir. In your spark and in your processor, Breakdown is still online." St3v3 wrapped his arm around Knock Out's shoulder and felt a kind of strength he never had before. He was useful in that moment. He was needed.

"That sounds like the stupid drivel he'd come up with," Knock Out laughed shakily. Then he looked at St3v3, really looked at him, and a sudden realization dawned on his face. He'd seen this Eradicon before. The thin scratch marks on his frame were distinct. "Is a memory why you didn't let me buff these?" Knock Out touched the thin scratch lightly. St3v3 nodded.

"They're all I have left of him, now that Megatron's banished him," he whispered. He knew that saying Starscream's name aloud was a good way to get hauled in for an interrogation by Soundwave.

"I guess you understand my situation better than I thought." Knock Out frowned. He knew who St3v3 meant, and the sad longing in the Eradicon's eyes made Knock Out feel a deep empathy. "You know, I've kissed him before, our long-lost Commandant." St3v3 looked at Knock Out, his visor widening with shock. "Shall I give you a gift?" Knock Out felt gratitude for St3v3's sympathetic audios and knew this would be fair repayment. He leaned in and gave the Eradicon a soft kiss on his mouth guard. Energon flushed St3v3's face, and he stammered, trying to express his gratitude.

"I-I'll always treasure it, sir. I can't thank you enough I-" Knock Out raised a hand to stop the deluge.

"It was the least I could do, and this will be the end of our talk for now. If I'm not mistaken, you're due to report in a few minutes. Better get down to the command center." Knock Out felt almost serene after finally confiding in someone.

"Right!" St3v3 got up suddenly and began bustling away to get his report in on time. As he hurried down the Nemesis' corridors he touched the place where Knock Out had kissed him, still feeling the outline of Starscream's indirect kiss burning there. He wanted to remember that feeling, just as he remembered every time Starscream had bothered to acknowledge his existence.

Knock Out leaned back on a medical berth and closed his optics. "Breakdown… if there really is a well-of-all-sparks, and if you're there, you had better believe my first act after my spark joins yours is going to be to hit you for leaving me alone on this ship of idiots." He felt a little silly, but it wasn't as though her were really talking to himself. Not if old superstitions could be even remotely counted on. "Then I'm going to kiss you, and make sure we're never apart again." Then he grinned that wolfish grin. "But don't expect me not to get 'faced in the meantime." He threw his legs over the side of the berth and stood up, feeling renewed resolve. It was time to start living again. He would always have the memories.

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Was that sappy enough for you? I'd appreciate comments since I don't write if I don't get them. I love you all!


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